I woke up at 5 am feeling cranky and worrying about the things I need to organise, felt angry and all off balance, Funnily enough having made myself practice, it was lovely, actually the walk to the shala was lovely, it was such a crisp morning, sunny and lovely. I felt better on the way to the shala and was glad I had resisted the attempt to stay in bed bad tempered.
Oddly enough I often have the best practices after I have had cranky sleep and they almost seem to take the cranky ness away, the best practice I ever had was after a whole night of tossing and turning and hearing every hour chime. Not sure quite why that it perhaps the whole no expectations thing? Although I do kind of know the “secret” now and it still seems to work.
Mari C my previous bete noir now seems very possible especially on the second side, where I get it every time no adjustors needed, sadly though my lack of practice is showing up in hip tightening ho hum..
After the healing of practice I had a rather trying morning, so was glad that the yoga had knocked off the corners off my mood and anxiety. I did have to shed a tear though after a particularly frustrating conversation with burocracy which just seemed deliberately obstructive, the NHS has been learning from the french in creating many double binds. the conversation went something like this:
Me: How do I get A agreed when I need to know B first and you havn’t told me B yet,
A: well you’ll just have to wait,
Me: but I can’t you’ve told me I have to give you 3 months notice
Answer: well you can’t then,
Me: But that means that C can’t happen and your collegue (who was much nicer, and told me that infact this was all possible) told me on friday it would…
Answer: I’ll ask my boss this afternoon
of course no emails by this pm grrr
